It's a lost art: that of picking up a girl and not fucking her. BastardLife reader Dylan T., from New York City explains.
Julia, Stephany, and August were mulling around the bar shortly before last call. I knew none of these woman, but I knew I was taking home at least one of them. Knew, aka, hoped to.
Like any woman at a bar giving off that I'm available vibe, she probably didn't have great expectations of the sex we'd have. But like me, she too would satisfy that urge that is hard to deny after enough time. For me, unusually, it had been a month since I had sex last.
Being in my early forties, but knowing I looked far younger, I laughed at how obviously the bar's lights were set on 'makeout low,' which seemed a bit high school for me. I also laughed because bar's music was clearly set to that high pitched level that made girls oblivious to their drunkenness until one of their girlfriends was holding back their hair in the girl's bathroom.
I ignored all of it—I had my eyes on the three girls who kept flirting with me for another drink. I obliged every time, not to get them drunk, but to get me laid. August was my most frequent customer. I kept my eye on the clock, and the evolution of her buzz, which was going in my favor. That's when I just said it, "Come on, let me take you someplace else," while I sort of expression that we could do better than this loud, drunk bar.
Most women would have declined my outreached hand; the odds are always stacked against us, which is why we're thankful for that once a month girl who says, "Ok, yeah, let's leave." But when August also accepted the invitation to my apartment about a block and a half away, I knew the hunt was over.
In the elevator, I lived on the seventh floor, I was still holding her hand—and I pulled her closer so that I could kiss her. Another, "Yes." Given this, I kept on kissing her from the elevator to my hallway where I fumbled with my keys, making us both laugh as we tried to maintain our seven story lip lock.
Inside my apartment I pushed her up against the wall to kiss her more; she pushed back, kissing me harder. We wasted no time falling into my bed and undressing.
Ok, freeze the frame here: we're naked, on my bed—you know what's about to happen.
But do you?
Gentlemen, we spend too much time trying to hook up. In my experience, that is wasted time, because if we follow a few old-school tips, tips that come from a couple of generations past, we could have more of what we want in bed and less time standing around in loud, drunk bars taking home sloppy chicks. The tips below were passed along to me from a guy almost twice my age. I use these tips and as a result I have the same girls(s) who want to see me in five different cities (I travel a lot for work). Each month I hit each of these five cities, and each month I have one or more girls who live there come to my hotel to see me. On average, that's 6 repeat girls a month—girls that like what I do, and how I do it—enough to keep coming around.
Here's what I learned:
1. Use Your Mouth
Don't stop kissing her passionately. That means before, during, and especially for a good ten minutes after sex.
3. Use Your Hands
Caress (yes caress) her before, during, and after sex. Use the back of your fingers. Caress the curves of her breasts, the curves of her hips, her lips and cheeks and eyebrows, her inner thighs, and around her bellybutton. I'm not saying don't grip her like a man; do that, just make sure you touch her with tenderness, too.
4. Use Your Skills
Go down on her and apply pressure and movement slowly with you tongue, increasing intensity slowly as well. Bring her to orgasm this way, then and only then, begin intercourse.
5. Use Your Cock
During intercourse, focus on what speeds and positions she likes. Pay close attention—if she likes it fast and hard, deliver; if she likes it slow, deliver. I once had a girl who only wanted me to push in deep, then deeper, then as deep in as I could. Then she'd ask me to hold it there, as deep in as I could. She'd ask me to hold it there until she came, which was fast if I did what she wanted. As she was about to finish cumming, I'd pull out and go back in again at my own speed until I'd cum, too.
6. Use Your Control
Make sure she cums before you do; this kind of sex is about her, not you if you want her to come back for more.
7. Use Her iTunes
But what's the absolutely best way to insure she's a return customer? Do all of the above—to music. Use her iTunes play list, or yours. It's an oldschool trick, but it works—whether it's from a record, an 8-track, a cassette, CD or iTune. Music (that she likes), will transform love making into something far more memorable than just fucking without it?
No matter what I call it: art, skill, or god given talent, there are certain things a woman wants in order for her to return to my bed. The difference between me being a guy or me being a man has been my mastery of those things she wants. As for August, she was amazing, but so was I—each time she and I were together for the months that followed.—N.B.